I, John Bildeck, am declaring myself emperor of the planet Earth. This decision comes as my company, Morgoth Industries Inc., is under fire by the COMMIE government led by far-left lunatic Donald Trump for "murdering journalists critical of my business practices". This is an outrageous Marxist, Stupid, Bolshevik, Commie, Terrible, Radical, Violent, Freedom-hating, Satanic, Evil, and socialist decision to prosecute my company and fine it $20,000 dollars. This is a corruption of justice, as I am a great, American, Job-creator. In fact, I created hundreds of jobs hiring assasins, "political advisors", Union-busters, and under-minimum wage paid laborers working TOTALLY SAFE conditions. They might as well make me pay taxes!
- John Bildeck
CEO, Morgoth Industries Inc.
New Emperor of Earth
Richest man on Earth
Hater of commies like DJT, lover of freedom
MORGOTH: Destroying our enemies